Head Trippin’

I took a journey Saturday night that I hadn’t taken in quite a while. I took some ’shrooms and left this reality for a while. I was grateful to have some good friends along with to keep me grounded.

I’ve been directing much of my thoughts on the future, but this head trip reminded me of the anxiety that can come from such focus. I came to realize after many, seemingly timeless talks with my friends that night that the now is all that matters and I should focus more energy on that.

I’m slowly learning to quiet my mind and savor the little things in life. Now if I can just get back into my writing.

Ebay is the Devil

  It seems that my refusal to pay for cable TV for the last 8 years has cost me dearly.  Its testament to how much influence television programming has on the general consciousness. I live in a cave-which is to say I don’t know what the hell is passing me by in the pop/news world. Even though Ebay is web-based, I believe my ignorance to all things current has produced my much-delayed addiction to this world of commerce. It also has to do with my attitude concerning a need for instant gratification.  Its a flaw common to my generation no matter how much we deny its existence.  Of course, ebay happily panders to this demo by offering the Buy it Now! option.  

  The point is, ebay is so well in tune with our tendencies toward impulse that they make every accommodation for it.  I just bought a hydraulic pump for my tractor for $70 with $20 shipping.  It started around $30 and here I am the proud owner.  I feel like a crack junky who just punched out at the city park glory hole. Does my tractor already have a hydraulic pump that works? Yes it does. Lord forgive me and please provide for my wife for I cannot. 

  Love you, I’ll be at a Ballard bar or church.

 

Chris

Experiments in Slander

   It’s difficult to know how far to go when writing a scathing complaint about a superior.  My apprenticeship to be an electrician requires that I complete so many hours of OJT over a period of four years.  There were only a few month’s worth of OJT left incomplete when I graduated from the academic side of the program, and I was told that they had been granted and that I would be able to take the state test as soon as I was ready.  Well it’s been awhile now and after repeated emails and calls I’ve only managed to receive a temporary work-alone card application and a lot of excuses for not being given the green light for the journeyman’s test.   The organization, IEC, has been a headache from the beginning with substandard education and shoddy service from the office. It was only after I wrote a complaint and sent it- not only to the office in question but the regional and national boards- that I got a concise answer from them. 

  Their response is that I was never told my hours were granted, and that such an approval requires a written request from me for consideration.  The person I spoke with-who will remain nameless-did indeed tell me that arrangements could be made for me to take the test, with no mention of any necessary action on my part save for telling her when I was ready.  The documents could be produced on a monday, and I could conceivably test the following weekend.  My guess, and this is only a guess in retrospect, is that the books were going to be “cooked” in my favor.  No such admission could possibly be made given the audience I angrily collected. Only the straight policy from the apprenticeship standards would be quoted, and I had of course, been mistaken in recollection.  I suppose we shouldn’t make sketchy promises and then neglect those whom we have an obligation to help with education-especially at $1000 a year. 

  So anyway,  I’ve yet to respond to their position, and I don’t know what to do yet.  I’ll let you know.  

 

Chris

Downer Days

It was hard to come into work today. I’ve been going through one of my little internal crisises again. I think i’ll finally take Chris’ advice and go see a shrink. I can’t seem to get a handle on myself anymore. I’ve never thought of myself as an anxious person, but I can’t shake the feeling of forboding when I look into the future. I know that I’m not alone in this respect, but it becomes hard for me to want to participate in the game. I work, because buying shit distracts me from the lonliness in my life. I used to be very social and ougoing, but these past few years that has changed.

Maybe I’m hitting my mid-life crisis a little early. I just don’t feel relavent like I once did. Blame the world, myself, or both? I refuse to feel guilt or remorse about my past, but to stay optimistic about my future seems fleeting, like trying to hold sand in my fist.

I need help.

Screw Allstate

 I have to say that Allstate, and all insurance to some degree is a racket.  I’ve been with this impersonal institution for upwards of ten precious years now and for the most part its been unimpressive. Unless you consider the amount of money I’ve thrown at them.  Hanni and I bought some land north of Spokane. Insurance inspector comes out to look at the place.  One month passes.  They say I have to cut down the brush so its a few hundred feet farther away from the house to avoid a fire hazard.  You have one week. 

  Well slap my ass! In an unusual display of fury, I told the agent to turn around and tell his superiors:

1. I was just there! You want me to drive 5 hours across the state at the last minute? Why the hell didn’t you tell me earlier?

2. I’ve been with you 10 years and you want me to “jump” to satisfy your interests?

3. They’ll only see my ass going out the door if they don’t budge.

  It’s really sad.  The reason is that in reality, my leaving them is probably no big deal. Plus I need to go through the trouble of setting up a new set of policies and almost certainly pay more after losing my tenure.

Balls.

Chris

Put a Cookie in Your Butt

  Put a big ol’ cookie in your butt and chew.  There’s nothing else you want to say to some people when you’re in the middle of one of those silent temper tantrums screaming in your head like a storm in the Monday morning. Fuck the Mondays, for me it’s like I’ve got a mildly retarded redheaded fouryearold to answer to. That little bastards got a grip, and so what if you’re ready to throttle your boss? Nygal’s ready for a nap or some sour mash right now.  Probably not unlike conjoined twins-you gotta look at that same person every day, while you work, while you eat, while you piss, while you fuck, (sorry, Brittany) he’s always with you and in some mood. More on the cookies later.

ce

Chris is back!

Man, one post and your insulting my aesthetic choices.  You know, I’m not one to have a lot of pictures, but feel free to go nuts. 

Well, maybe now we can start posting more and have some enlightened discussions in the ether of the Internet.

The Unannounced Idiot

This is the shit.  I’ve been away from the typer for some time now and that’s probably for the better.  Dunno if I’ve got the bug back, might fall flat so we’ll see.  Chad was kind enough to reanimate this site for the general benefit of the lost websurfer.  A mildly interesting brochure one might pick up in a Greyhound bus stop at 1 am in Fresno.  Maybe we’ll spruce it up with some pictures or something, spit on it and polish it up if you will.  No offense to Chad- I love what he’s done with the place.  Oh, and sorry for the return of Mr. Hyde on the 4th folks- the bottle is my bane.  I understand I was that guy at the party.  Dreams of flight from the 3rd story, comments on black people to black friends, calling my wife a “Tuesday” acronym-all the crazy antics of the not-so-recovered alcoholic.  God Bless

Chris

Blogging is hard!

God.  I’m just not self-absorbed enough to post here often.  Honestly, my life is a bit dull at the moment and its put me in a funk.  I really want to move out of my apartment, but the way the future is shaping up, it may be a fool’s errand. 

Wel, there’s my two bits.

Tokyo Reflections Part II

5/22/08

 It has been a tiring couple of weeks since I returned from Tokyo, so I’ve been neglectful of this story.  So let’s continue, shall we?